Sex in Marriage

The post prior to this one (Two Rivers of Life) dealt, in part, with what C. S. Lewis had to say of human sexuality in Mere Christianity. Let's review his words one more time.

I know some muddle-headed Christians have talked as if Christianity thought that sex, or the body, or pleasure, were bad in themselves. But they are wrong. Christianity is almost the only one of the great religions which thoroughly approves of the body - which believes that matter is good, that God Himself once took on a human body, that some kind of body is going to be given to us even in Heaven and is going to be an essential part of our happiness, or beauty and our energy. Christianity has glorified marriage more than any other religion: and nearly all the greatest love poetry in the world has been produced by Christians. If anyone says that sex, in itself, is bad, Christianity contradicts him at once.

It is interesting to note that though his theme is sex Lewis speaks of Christianity having "glorified" marriage or of Christians having produced "the greatest love poetry." Certainly he is not equating sex with these two actions or covenants or whatever they are. He is not equating them, nor is he saying that they are one and the same thing. Certainly sex is involved in marriage, in fact that is the only bed in which it should be involved. Sex is also involved or is a part of love. Sex is a part of love because there are inevitable attractions, arousals, and more which if not present rob even love of part (certainly not all, but probably a very big part) of its beauty.

Earlier Lewis wrote, "Chastity is the most unpopular of the Christian virtues. There is no getting away from it; the Christian rule is, 'Either marriage, with complete faithfulness to your partner, or else total abstinence'." There it is, plain and simple.

Humans, or rather, Christians, must abstain from sexuality entirely until marriage. This is, I think, a two edged sword. The good, fighting edge is that it certainly creates an excited anticipation of what is to come in marriage. That's wonderful. On the other hand, there is another edge which seems to lie dangerously near our own throats - right at the jugular. I think the danger is not so much in resisting and even repressing the temptations that pop up (no pun intended) during the years prior to marriage. No, I think the danger is found in misunderstanding marriage. A friend of mine once commented that the sex life in marriage was the thermometer by which to gauge the marriage's well-being. By the way, my friend was an unhappily married man.

If we equate marriage with sex don't we damage the institution of marriage? It is, or should be, that (sex), certainly, but it must also involve so much more. There is so much more at stake. By forcing a sexual repression, not quite a rejection but certainly a repression, until marriage I fear that marriage will become a sort of sexual revolution. Marriage will, in a way, open the flood gates of sexuality and I fear that it will, in a way, undermine the other beautiful aspects of marriage.