One Flesh Union

The other day I proposed the idea of a quick marriage to a girl. No, I didn't seriously propose to her. It was more a sort of frank discussion about the matter. It's almost August right now and I said I'd not have too much of a problem with marrying in December. There are, I'll admit, certain impediments and a lot of hard work would have to be put into it all, but I think it could work. Suddenly she looked at me and said, "Wow! You must really want sex."

That stung a little. Guys always have sex on their mind, I'm the first to admit to that. But that doesn't necessarily mean it is the first thing on our mind. Sex was hovering, if at all, towards the back of my mind. It was in a peaceful, rather dormant mode. She was the one that opened that "can of worms." Not me.

Still, it got me to thinking. How many times do we associate sex with marriage? Well, I mean as Christians we kind of have to, there's no choice. But I mean as if that were the sole purpose and nucleus, as such, of marriage. Marriage is a beautiful union which involves so much more than just the union of two bodies. Intimacy is not necessarily intercourse (though it can involve that).

Someone once suggested that becoming "one flesh" (like in the Bible) meant putting the two "fleshes" together. In other words, once a man is inside (literally) a woman, then they have become one flesh. That will explain, in part, why sex out of marriage is so dangerous. In fact, it has been compared to duct tape. The more you stick it on to other people the more it loses its stickyness. The argument is partly rational, for what really makes a marriage?

I mean, think about it. A guy can be friends with a girl and have a lot of "deep talks" and do everything normal married people can do. Except for sex. That is the one prohibition. That is the one forbidden fruit in the garden, or rather jungle, of society. Sex is a sacred thing. Yes, sacred. A marriage union cannot simply be the civil or legal or religious or any other form of contract we have made it out to be. Standing before a judge or a priest or any other person and reciting eloquent words with rich meaning actually means next to nothing. The movie Return to Cold Mountain (remember I do not necessarily endorse every source I use, such is the case with this movie) suggests an ancient ritual which marries a couple together only by the repetition of "I love you" three times. So is sex the union which forms a "one flesh" union?

I think more important than the union formed by a desire for sex is the union formed by commitment. It is a commitment "come rain or come shine" and is made because of love. Once such a commitment is made so is the best sex made. Or so I've heard. And maybe I'm wrong, or maybe there is no sex involved at all. In either case, in any case, it is the happiest possible union. It is a union made in love. Out of love. For love.

Eric Clapton and B. B. King sing, "I'm gonna love you, like nobody's loved you, come rain or come shine. High as a mountain, or as deep as a river, come rain or come shine."