I am, I'll admit, an avid list maker. Yes, it's true. I won't deny it. I love to make lists. When I go shopping I always make a list. I make a list because it helps me not to forget what I went shopping for. I make a list so I can keep to the task at hand and not get too far out of my budget. I also make a list because I feel powerful whenever I cross things off it.
Yet there is one area in which I hate to make lists. When I was growing up I would hear girls giggle over their "dream lists." You know, the kind of list where she puts down all the attributes she's looking for in a guy. Usually it is ridiculous stuff such as "That he make me laugh." Or, "That he enjoy midnight strolls on sandy beaches." And so on and so forth.
First of all lists such as those make absolutely no sense. Whatever you get is going to be what you have been looking for subconsciously anyways. I mean if you like humour you will be drawn towards funny guys. If, on the other hand, you have a more romantic edge you will be attracted to the more chivalrous kind. It's all part of your makeup and you don't need a list.
Besides you'll never figure yourself or the other person out well enough. I mean, sure, you'll get what you want and what you look for, but at the same time I think more than 80% of what you'll get in the other person will be a surprise. And that's great. God wanted it that way. He wrapped us all up in a lot of mystery and there is no greater anticipation than the ecstasy of getting to know the other person every day a little more and a little better.
Which brings up another point - God doesn't need your lists. He doesn't work according to your lists or to anyone elses. He has His own agenda, and He sticks to it!
Miguel de Cervantes (the author of Don Quixote) wrote his own list and said, "Required in every good lover... the whole alphabet...Agreeable, Bountiful, Constant, Dutiful, Easy, Faithful, Gallant, Honourable, Ingenious, Joyful, Kind, Loyal, Mild, Noble, Officious, Prudent, Quiet, Rich, Secret, True, Understanding, Valiant, Wise...Young and Zealous." That is quite a list for any guy to fill out. Although I do find it interesting to note that he did not put anything physical into it. I mean, there are no physical qualities sought after and nothing descriptive as to appearance is even mentioned.
God has put up lists for us. He has put up lists for guys and for girls. There is more than one list for each but often some of the "traits" are repeated in each. For example, the guys get Psalms 15 and the girls get the classic Proverbs 31. In these passages, just as with Cervantes, the physical is not mentioned. There is a lot talked about concerning attraction, the qualities mentioned are, after all, desirable, but there is nothing to be said of physical attraction. That's not to say that it is omitted because of negligence or lack of importance. God does talk about beauty - a lot. He encourages it. Yet He also understands that it is in "the eye of the beholder" whereas all the other traits must be observed by all and cannot be individualized.
Mark Driscoll spoke on this idea of lists and related it to Ruth. She was not the kind of girl who would be list making material on normal standards. She was a foreigner. She didn't have money. She lived with her mother-in-law. She wasn't a virgin. She was a widow. She was pretty aggressive with her come-ons. Not exactly list material and yet she made it into the lineage of Christ. She was the girl of any man's dreams, just not of his dream lists.
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