James 1:3

Knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. James 1:3

Theoretical knowledge of theology is a dangerous thing. I know this verse. I actually know it by memory too! But I am not consciously aware of this, especially when it is actually happening. When my faith is actually being tested I do not know (or remember) that it produces or can produce a good thing, endurance. How do I reconcile what I know with the experience in which I no longer seem to know? I don't know.

I suppose I ought to be grateful to God for testing my faith. I don't know why He has to test that particular area. Couldn't He test me in something lighter and easier? I don't know what, but to test me in my faith seems a little dangerous. Not only is my faith the foundation to my life and my way of living but it is also a precarious foundation, still vulnerable. Perhaps He does it to produce that endurance, but the danger of a test is that if failed it does not produce a good grade or happy result. Is that the way God grades? He's not exactly saying "pass this test, the testing of your faith, and I will grant you endurance." He's saying "when your faith is tested you will produce endurance." That's a consolation, but it's still a mystery to me.