Willingness to Love

There are more people who wish to love than there are willing to love.

S.R. N. Chamfort

Sometimes I wonder why I think about all the crazy things I think about. Usually I come up with a simple answer. Usually that answer comes up pretty quickly. And easily. And frequently. That answer is - Selfishness. Yup, unfortunately, that is right. I think very selfishly. To make matters worse I act very selfishly too. When I think about love it is to think about me. When I think about marriage it is to think about me. When I think about sex it is to think about me. When I think about ambition it is to think about me. When I think about anything at all it is to think about me. But the worst is this - when I think about God it is really just to think about me. I have reduced God to a sort of vending machine. He is a Sunday habit. He is a devotional discipline. He is so many things. He is the one that answers my prayers. He is the one that makes me happy in a self-righteous sort of way. He is the one that takes care of my future plans, particularly the after death eternity related ones. I fold Him up and try to stick Him in my pocket like a good luck charm. That's not the way it should be. He is willing to love me even with all this. In spite of all this. Am I now willing to love Him?