Tourniquet on Regret

Cormac McCarthy authored the book No Country for Old Men which was later adapted into film by the Coen brothers. The film though highly controversial and, at times, disturbing does share a poignant glimpse into the life of the protagonist. The protagonist is portrayed by Tommy Lee Jones and towards the end of the film there is a scene between him and his father. That scene is, I think, the climatic scene in the entire story for, at least, the protagonist. It is certainly the scene that has proven itself to be revolutionary for the character. In a way it was the drop that filled his bucket, or the straw that broke his camels back. The scene is, as I said, shared between he and his father. It is a poignant scene, though not by any accounts should it be categorized as a tender scene.

Our hero, the protagonist, asks his wheelchair ridden father what he would have done if the perpetrator that caused him to live the rest of his life in a wheelchair were still alive and free. (He'd died in prison.) To this the father quietly replies, "Nothing. There'd be no point to it." At this the son remarks his surprise and the father explains, "Well, all the time you spend trying to get back what's been took from you more is going out the door. After a while you just got to try and get a tourniquet on it."

These are the words of the wise. Grey hairs do not come alone. This man lived long enough to discover that regret should not be the priority of life. To much time is spent wasted on the infamous "what might have been" question. We forget it seems that John Greenleaf Whittier spoke of these as the saddest words, and he might well have been correct in his assumption. "For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'." Or to go more contemporary (and Country as well) it was Tim McGraw who sang something similar in his song Red Ragtop. He sang, "Well, you do what you do, and you pay for your sins, and there's no such thing as what might have been, that's a waste of time, drive you out of your mind."

This all takes me back to one of the best films ever made. Yes, you guessed it, Good Will Hunting. As with every film it does have it's flaws and by no stretch of the imagination am I, as I've repeatedly noted, endorsing all the content of any of the content I use in my blog postings. So, yes, although this film may have flaws one of them is not Robin Williams. His nomination and award of the Oscar was well deserved. Near the films halfway mark there is a particularly powerful scene in which he speaks of regret. The scene is powerful because the acting is powerful. The scene is powerful because the dialogue is powerful. The scene is powerful because even the cinematography is powerful. Yet what makes the scene most powerful is the tension of it, and that is due to the fact that the message it has to convey is so powerful. It can truly only be appreciated if it is seen but I will pass on a little of what is said during that scene. The words come from Robin Williams who plays widowed psychologist. During said scene he says, "That's why I'm not talking about a girl I met in a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the eighteen years I was married to Nancy, and I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick, and I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missing a damned game." Okay, now let me explain. Williams had a choice. He had a choice between cashing in on the ticket he had for some famous baseball game that went down the History hall of fame. Or he had a choice of cashing in on a a girl who made his life the happiest it could be and went down in the Life hall of fame. The point is, he had a choice. Regret is, I believe, a matter of choice. It might have been, is always a matter of choice, because what might have been might also not have been. He, Robin Williams, might have chosen the game over the girl. He might have chosen bitterness over the long haul and final death of his wife due to cancer. But he didn't. He didn't chose to regret. Like in the first film we addressed Williams put a tourniquet on regret. Will I do the same thing or will I live on (it's not even living) with regrets?